an unforgotten tune.

she's riding horses through the night
with no one else in nearby sight
only fire flies and candle light
she only dreams to forget the fight.


I'm tired. I am always tired. It's strange being home. I've been home every weekend in July for either camp (by the way - DAWG I is next week =] ) or the garage party - which was excellant. However, being home makes me feel as if I'm in High School again and every morning when my sister and mom leave for their volleyball camp - I feel like I'm staying home sick like I did so many times in my past. I begin to look around the room and feel as if I'm in a cell and the same emotions come at me through the walls. It's scary. No one knows what I went through during those years - no one knows the details and the thoughts that attack me every day. I still feel the way I used to. Perhaps the feeling is a slightly different emotion, but it's still there and that's the problem.


I'm beginning to look at 4-year colleges and, again, I feel like I'm back in High School. I still feel hopeless, as if I'm not going to figure out where my life is taking me. However, I have been looking at a few different schools, but they're too expensive and private. It's annoying. If only I could either win the lotto or become famous over night, then everything would be perfect.

Yeah, we all wish.