no new words of interest.

Well, there's nothing much for me to say right now.

Valentines Day is coming up and there are two reasons why I am not excited for February 14th:
1) Love pisses me off, especially when you are alone.
2) It will be the 4 month mark for Matthew's death.

I'm still in awe with the fact that my brother is gone. I know people are probably tired of hearing it, but it's true. This whole incident happened in the blink of an eye and all of a sudden - bam, he's gone. It sucks and it will takes years and years to get over it. In truth, I don't think I will ever get over it because it's impossible to forget someone who was such an idol in your life. I look at his pictures and still wonder to myself, 'Did this really happen?' I think I've run out of tears because when I want to cry or feel myself falling apart - I just can't crumble. Yet, when I do fall apart - it's a mess. I love him and always will and it kills me that he isn't here today.