'you're just a whore, nothing more. Sorry that will never change."

Sell me out I'm yesterday's old news,
phrases left on paper, black ink bleeding through
the pages where we made our history.
Call me foolish,
I feel hopeless...
Like a dear caught in the headlights
I won't know what hit me...
Running from lions,
never felt like such a mistake
- All Time Low, Running From Lions

It's strange that the summer is finally coming to a close. The sun is setting earlier; the air is becoming hazy. I've been packing up boxes for the past couple of days and it hasn't occured to me yet that I will miss this summer - because I wont. I've come to realize that High School is just a test. A bubble in scantron that if you get a few questions wrong, you can't make it up. Until college. I failed all those damn tests in High School and last year I made up for lost time. But High School is a different story. I was a band geek (even though I didn't enjoy it with much enthusiasm). I was the gym teachers daughter (coming into HS with an already made reputation). I cried during class (showing my insecurities and frowned upon embaressments). I had many aquaintances. Only a few friends that I would keep forever.

I guess that's how I saw it, at least. The stereotypical view of High School. However, college helped me start over and perhaps that is why I love it so much. Last year I stopped caring about what others thought about me when I walked down the hall. I tried to keep my chin up and to not be afraid to say hello to an aquaintance that may turn into a friend. I lived in a different setting, where I could make my name known (sometimes in a not so good way). I can't say I'm 'popular' now, because really - that's not what I want. I just wanted to be content with being Jenni - a quirky, goofy girl. And the fact that I'm leaving behind a summer so boring and walking back into a world I know too well - only makes my excitement roar louder.

The other day, I visited one of my campers from CGD with Ryan and Katie. Angela, a 14-year-old who is suffering greatly from Ewings Sarcoma, came with us as we took over Chuckie Cheese and Target for a day. It was great to see her doing so well and having so much fun, even thought I knew she was suffering so much. She had told me earlier that week that her doctors said she only had a week or so left. That idea killed me. I needed to visit her. So I rounded up the troops and we took a roadtrip to see her for the day. Today she is in Las Vegas because her Make A Wish came in. That's good and bad. It's great because she is there yet it is horrible because the Make A Wish Foundation only grants the wishes of people who are terminal. God bless her and I hope to god her tumor stops suffocating her body. She's too good of a soul to send away.