What happened to the days when you looked forward to coming home from college to spend time with the family that loves you? The family that smiles as you walk in the door, surprising you with hugs and compliments about how great you look or how happy they are to have you home.
That image is only a myth, an imaginary truth that so many continue to believe is real. I used to always think that my family was perfect but after the divorce - everything seemed to scatter and rip at the seams. It's been three years since my family separated - leaving me to pretend my world was just as great as it had been before it fell apart. It will never be the way it was before my junior year. Now I have a father who plays the guilt trip on his daughters every time he wants to spend time with us. I have a sister who continuously bashs my lifestyle, my goals and the way I am because she feels that it is okay to throw her anger at the one person who falls apart everytime she does so. And I have a mother, the one person who has kept me alive through out the last years. If it wasn't for her sense of understanding, I would probably be dead or in a pych ward. No one knows what I've gone through and what I still am struggling to overcome. Lately, I feel as if my family is the one thing I fear when really it's the one thing want back. Maybe not in the same sense as I had it three years ago - but something a little happier, a little bit calmer and definately relaxed.
So when I come home for vacations, I may hear the occasional you look great from one person: my mother. My father will discuss his own busy life as I sit back and listen and my sister will barely talk to me unless she has a friend alongside her. I do have my friends though, most who are away for vacation. But I do know that when I go back to school for the spring semester, I may miss being home, but I'll have my friends shoulders to cry on.
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