my life - a series of unfortunate events.

Maybe some creepy old man didn't hang my baby sister out of a window or keep her in a bird cage or want to marry a family member, but my life is starting to seem like that book - a series of unfortunate events. Ironically, I had to read that for my childrens lit. class and ironically a couple weeks later another death occured in my family:

My Aunt Janet suffered a heart attack and passed away on April 26th, 2009. After hearing this news, the first thing that I thought of was: who's next? Seriously, people may think I'm awfully crazy by thinking this way, but after my brother dying and now my aunt, both within about 6 months, I'm just expecting another death. I feel guilty. I feel like I'm the one who should be dead - not Matt or Aunt Janet. I was sick when I was a baby and lived, but they both died so quickly and it's just unfair. Nothing is making sense and I'm just expecting the worse not. Someone may get in a car crash or someone will get another damn disease. Why didn't god or whoever make our bodies sickness-proof? It's just not right.

Lately, I can't keep my mind on writing one story. I've been jumping from one idea to another and now I'm on a totally new one. Who knows how far this idea will go - probably 30 pages and then I'll get bored. I just want to write something that tells a remarkable story.

I only have a few more weeks of school - thank god. I need to get away and be on the lake all summer and wake up to sun and water. Rochester has fucked me over this year and it's time for a change of scenery. This might mean a change in not only scenery, but in possible relationships and current friendships. However, if he or them believe I'm worth the distance - I'll be content.