"What else is the world worth?"

I've been having emotional outbursts lately. Some, that many people are probably unaware of because I leave before I explode.

This weekend I went to Hornell to hang out with Kasey's family and friends. I realized how lucky she is. Her family is perfect. No questions asked. Her parents are in love and have been for 25 years. Also, her friends are awesome and I envy the fact that she still remains so close to her friends from High School. I wish I had a family so together and friends I could count on when coming back home for a weekend.

After what happened last nite - I realized there is no way I will probably ever be able to trust anyone of the male species. One of my closest friends had a devestating breakup last night and it came as quite the shock. I drove to pick her up and I couldn't believe that after a year of nothing but passion - the passion could be thrown away so quickly. I don't understand how that can happen. Maybe I shouldn't push the fact that I want to get into a relationship because I fear that will happen to me. I couldn't stand another cheating, lying male figure to come into my life and then drop me in a second. I want to be in love. Yet, I'm afraid of it.

I also need to continue to write the book I'm currently in the middle of. I've been having major writers block and it is very frustrating. I need to begin to do something for myself and need to stop trying to please everyone else.


I need time for me.