end of september update.

I've become lazy when it comes to updating this blog. Here's a quick reminder of what's been going on during the last month at Keuka:

1) My ears are STILL plugged - yes, it's going on ten months.
2) I'm officially the worst ASL student in level three.
3) I'M 21! It rocks.
4) Boys confuse me like no other these days. When will that ever end? Can't things be simple when it comes to the opposite species?
5) I'm slowly going back to writing and reading after a couple weeks of not having the time to.
6) My brother's one year is coming up and it's getting more and more difficult to face. We are in the process of making shirts to wear on 10/14/2009.
7) Did I mention that my ears are still plugged?

Okay, that's all for now. When something extraordinary comes up, I will try my best to complain about it.

update from the keuka student.

Well, Keuka College is officially amazing. Seriously, I'm so glad that I decided to come here. It's small, but feels like home already and the students already know my name - not for anything bad, either. I've met some great, fun people and surprised myself by how outgoing I was within the first 24 hours. By the end of our first night on campus, I had already met a bunch of people on the top floor of Harrington and went over to Ball Hall to hang out with some people. The unique thing about Keuka is that there is a connected college in China and a lot of the seniors at that school come here. I've met so many awesome Chinese students! Truly, i love it here.

Quick tid-bits:
- I just became the Co-Advocacy Chair for the Up 'Til Dawn club which supports childhood cancer research and St. Jude.
- I've gone to the library almost every day as well as to the gym.
- I played kick ball - yes, it's hard to believe.
- I am struggling through my American Sign Language classes, since I was placed in level 3, but am going to work hard to understand it all.
- I know almost all of the American names for the Chinese students on campus - one being named Potato. Yes, you heard me.
- I've been going to bed early on weeknights and only drinking on weekends.
- I'm having a wonderful time!

overdue.

It's been a little while since I last updated this. Here's a quick overview of all the excitement that you missed:

1) Camp Good Days and Special Times 2009 was absolutely incredible. It was an amazing week and I got to meet some amazing campers and wonderful volunteers. Everything felt right this year - meaning that there was no drama. I learned so much this summer by being around these people. Again, CGD made me realize how lucky i am to be a survivor and to be a part of this organization. I'm already getting heartfelt emails and i love to read them. I've also found out that one of my former campers relapsed and needs a lung transplant. I'm in the process of visiting her. I need to find more time.

2) The weekend after CGD, I went to Baltimore with my dad and sister. It was odd this year, not having my brother there to pick on us and fart and laugh and push me around. Again, we stayed at his place and i could feel his spirit everywhere. We avoided the aquarium this summer. It's to close to home when it comes to missing my brother. It wouldn't have felt right without him telling us everything and anything about the sealife. I miss him more and more and the fact that it has been almost a year still leaves me in awe.

3) Carly has moved into the real world and is officially a student at Ithaca. It was odd helping her unpack and watch her talk to the team. For the first time in a while, she is alone. Maybe not totally alone, but without her close knitted group of friends and without my parents to guide her along with the food issues. I miss her - it's a fact. Even though we haven't always seen eye to eye, i miss the times when we get along so well that we laugh to the point of tears. She's my little sister and she is now a college girl

I move into Keuka soon and I'm more than ready. I want to wake up tomorrow and for it to be the 26th. It will be soon enough. Until then - I will enjoy the rest of this nonesense summer.

the smile of a black eyed susan.

Well, it finally looks like I snagged a summer babysitting job - for the next month until I head back to school. I'm still grateful that something came along, even if it's last minute. I will be watching two children, 4 and 9, from 9:30 - 4:30 Monday through Friday. The days I can't work (CGD&ST) Carly will take over. The money will be good to have, even if it's not that much.

I went to Plattsburgh this weekend for the annual Garage Party and it was fantastic, as always. Lots of dancing, alcohol and family - the perfect combonation. I stayed at the farm a few extra days and really got the chance to relax. I visited the piggies, calves and the goats and felt like a tryt country girl... in a way. It's so nice up there with the farms and the fields and the mountains and the lake. I can definately see myself living in the countryside other than in a big city. I like the atmosphere and how it is less chaotic, more peaceful.

I'm moving right along with the book I'm writing - Noon. It's really becoming a true, real story and I'm falling in love with the characters. It's funny because I'm not sure exactly how the story will end. If you're a writer, you know that the characters are what finish the story for you, not yourself.

storms that howl.

I don't think I've ever experienced rain like I have during the past two weeks. It hasn't stopped - seriously. I think Mother Nature is playing a trick on us or is just extremely moody. I've pretty much moved into the camp on the lake and when it rains, the wind screams against the camp like what you hear in the movies. It's scary, especially when you're all by yourself. In a wierd way, it's almost poetic. I could sit here all day and just write about the rain and sounds and lake and ducks that I've watched grow during the past month. Now, the ducks that were a couple weeks old, are almost the same size as the mother and the other family of ducklings have grow so much too. I wonder what age it is when the ducks part from their parents and the mother stops following them.

I made a website on one of the rainy, stormy days because I wasn't in the writing or reading mood. I don't know if anyone will look at it, except for me, but I like it. I wish people would comment and tell me what I could do to make it better or what to add. I like it - it's the web version of my life. If you haven't memorized the blog URL, you're probably reading this from www.whoajenni.webs.com. Or, you've just forgotten about me all together. Oh well.

I'm still writing and I've made it to page 50! It's funny how excited I get, after months of writers block, to finally get this far without losing interest. I like the story, I've fallen in love with the characters and the plot inspires me. Isn't that all a writer needs to fall in love?

I went to Kylee's church with her last night and started to cry - as usual. I don't know what it is about being in a church that makes me start to think about my brother and fall apart. Maybe it's because I don't really believe in anything, but if I believed in God I'd be pissed that he took my brother away from me. So, when I'm there and I hear everyone praying - I'm mad because I don't want to follow some God who took Matt away. I know, I know - God or whatever didn't take my brother, the disease did. But why didn't God take me instead when I was sick? Then I wouldn't have to feel this guilt and this sadness. After the session, I realized I need to make some changes. Not changes like becoming a crazy religious person, but changes like living a life I'll be proud of without regrets. I've regretted so much in my past and I want to be proud of the person I am. Therefore, I'm going to change things up a bit.

"even after death, the relationship continues."

This afternoon I watched My Sister's Keeper. I was amazed by how each character was brought to life just like Jodi's text was and how amazing Sofia V. (Kate) brought forth the pain that cancer caused her. The story-line went pretty much hand in hand with the book - which made me more then content.  Of course, like predicted, the ending was much, much different.  However, the change was not tacky, but brought to the screen with class.  I emailed Jodi Picoult right after I got back from the movies and asked her about her thoughts on the change.  She answered: 

I didn't take the change well - I think it ruined the story, frankly, But like you said - I had no control (and when I complained I got tossed off the set!) JP 

I still love how she answers my email within minutes of it sending. It amazes me that she has the time to answer back to all of her fans. Even though I still believe that the ending in the book is the correct ending, the movie still brought tears to my eyes and made me think about the important things in life. 

I'm still writing without writers block and it's fabulous. I'm beginning to really know the characters that I am creating: Josie - learning to love; Cady - learning to grow; Fay - learing to be herself. It's fascinating when the people you create begin to rub off on you and you begin to see someone walking through a store and say, hey, that girl reminds me of so-and-so.

That's what prose does - it's makes you alive. 

rain, ducklings and words.

I've officially broken out of my writers block - thank god.  Last week I thought of the reason why I hadn't been able to concentrate on the stories I had been working on.  I need to actually get under the character's skin and become friends with them (if that sounds creepy at all, I'm sorry). When I had been writing Addiction, I knew every single character and could describe them in perfect detail.  Also, I need to write from the perspective of the character - like I did in Addiction.  It doesn't only make the story more interest, it makes the reader feel what the character feels and believe what the character believes.  Right now, I'm content with the story I'm writing. 

It's about three girls, Josie, Fay and Cady, who all end up at a hospital for totally different reasons.  One is there because of mental illness, one is there because of cancer and one is there because she is pregnant.  One day at lunch time, they all ironically end up at the same table and begin an interesting conversation.  After that date, they each meet there every day at noon. The story goes through the hardships that each girls pushes through and their personal issues they must deal with - love, identity and purpose. 

Still, I have no job and am just waiting for luck to find me.  However, until then, I have my book (I'm on page 27).