Maybe life is difficult because it is all just a test. Maybe the reason we trip and we fall, is just to see if we are strong enough to get up - if we are willing to give it another shot. We are all born with so many trials to overcome and even though some are so difficult that you will fall so low - there are only so many other trials to overcome until you are the best you can be, until you are back on your feet again.
Divorce happens. Alcoholism happens. Cancer happens. Rape happens. Suicide happens. Drugs happen. Love happens. Death happens.
Life happens.
Lately, a lot has been on my mind. So much that I've been falling apart at the seams. I've been falling back into memories of the summer of 2004 - the year my father left. It's weird, that even though it has been 3 years that all that anger is still packed up inside of me with just as much force that it was back then. Nothing has really changed. Sure, I have, but not to the point of normalcy. And really, I don't think I will ever be normal again - if I ever was. I fell so far that summer that it would be a miracle to make it half way back to where I was before. I was looking through my journal from my junior - senior years and I realized how alike I am to that person I was then. How the same thoughts still thunder through my mind every day. The thoughts scare me because I never imagined they would be there. But I can't blame anyone. I can't blame my father. I can't blame the divorce. I can't blame depression. I can't blame the meds. I can't even blame myself. I can only blame life - because this is the road it has chosen for me. And no matter how far I have fallen, it knows I can make it because if I wasn't supposed to fall then why would any of us be here in the first place?
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