"please help me get from worse to better'

This weekend was good. I got to hang out with some of the best people in the world. Maybe i had too much fun within a short period of time. Last night i collapsed. I began to cry harder then i have cried in weeks. I really didn't even know what ignited it, but i couldn't stop. Today in math i began to cry as well because my dumb teacher told me i most likely will fail. I will also probably fail journalism and will barely pass communications and drugs and behavior. Just thinking about all the work i have put into this semester makes me angry that it wont be shown in the end with good grades proving the effort. Last night i took out my journal from junior-senior year and i read some letters i had wrote to my father, the kind the therapist tells you to write to feel better that will never really go to him. I had never realized how upset i had been at him and how even today, a lot hasn't changed - I've just gotten better at covering it up. It's annoying that three years later, I'm still barely recovering. Last night was tough. I barely made it through. And thanks to some night time tylonel, i fell asleep.

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I sad
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder
- Thunder, Boys like Girls

May 30th = Writers Digest Writers Conference.

If there is one thing to look forward to it will be that. That will be the make or break of what I want to do for the rest of my life.